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Before I go to sleep, I want you to know that you are not alone, because I want to make this place your home.

ZA

Unaccompanied Minor/

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn't ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.


Meredith Grey - ‘Unaccompanied Minor/’

Beautiful Day

You never know the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest. The days you think are going to be big ones, they are never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It’s the regular days, the ones that start out normal. Those are the days that end up being the biggest. And today was the wedding. It was beautiful. Perfect. You never know the biggest day of your life is your biggest day, not until it’s happening. You don’t recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you’re right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there’s not enough time because you want to live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know, it was a beautiful day.

Grey's Anatomy

Sorry

Little did you know that things that make you happy, end up make you feel sorrow. i wish you the very best (and to myself too).

ZA

Chemisery

For the past couple of years, I worked with what I consider smart people, minus a bunch of oh-not-so-smart people and of course the lot of sheer moronic people. With these multicolors personalities, one with thought of this thing, and that another one have another thought of that thing, you know, it was a bowl of many crap ideas, but to my surprise, workable.

Minus the hair pulling, it was exciting though to see someone yelled at someone, screaming over the phone, threatening people over unmodifiable terms and conditions, finding quick solutions to problems that were not that head cracking, fighting in a cute teletubbies suit, it was a rainbow of many things!

Come over here, in my current place, people (or a person) seem(s) like having a huge problem in defining between chemical and chemistry. How trivia is that?

Chemical elements, and chemistry between two people DO mean different things. It does not coexist naturally like symbiosis interaction between moss and bark of a tree, or two different words (sound, spelling, pronunciation) that coincidentally share the same meaning.

Those two, might be derived from one same word (which surprisingly I don't fuckin give a damn) are uniquely stand by their own. Chemical elements - Potassium, Magnesium, Sulphur, Carbon, Aurum. You name it, single out from any periodic tables, then you have a CHEMICAL ELEMENT. I don't know. I maybe wrong. But I certainly know what does Chemical Element mean.

Phrases like "There's a chemical between you and me" or "Symbol for Kalium is Ca" or plethora of weird pronunciations, are like an amusement park. It injects you with a silent giggle you can't hold and in no time it bursts into laughter.

Where can you get such confident in someone who tells everyone a self humiliating joke? I don't know. I just found one, over here, in my own miserable self induced humiliation entertainment playground.

If someone asks me what on earth they are talking about, I will certainly tell them,

"They are cracking up Chemisery"


ZA

Green Light

Rain was pouring hard on the way back home yesterday. The clouds were not visible - unlike the usual day when it decided to just wash away the earth. There were no giant grey cotton candies, the only things that visible were only white blankets like a huge thick mist on top of unreachable hills. The feeling that it was going to rain was imminent, and it did fall finally.

At times like this, the only thing that was going into my mind was the moment I spent some time with you on our way back from Sugarland. The rain was as hard as this, and I thought we wouldn't see the light of day ever again. But I was wrong, we were happy the next morning having our crepe with caramelized sugar at some cafe by the road in the middle of nowhere.

You wouldn't remember because when I asked you, you told me that I was high on ice. Your selective memory was pretty impressive.

Thanks to you that you made me realized that you were not the only one that I have.

ZA

Live Forever

Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever


ZA
(I love you Liam)

Foggy Road

That flyover over the horizon is the road that I take to go to work every morning. The road is foggy, with trees left and right and further ahead, cars are rare, trucks are once in a blue moon, only kampung houses separated by field of greens, miles from one to another. Things are simple over here, cow dungs on the road and goats crossing like no one's business and people leisurely cruising on their bikes. They live by the rules, and they stand over the boundary when they know they shouldn't walk it over.

I smile when I realize that it is not the songs over the radio that make me happy - it is the mist like a huge cloud that fade the road away. As if it holds mystery at one point, and opens up for the answers a few feet later.

Life is not that simple. I can't tell what is in front of me. It is like the morning fog that swallow the road away, but once you drive forward, your direction becomes clearer.

The only thing that matters is to keep moving. Turn back when you have to. But you will lose the chance to discover what miles further might offer you.

ZA