Jumble Up
Empty Bowl
Living alone is subjective. One day you love it, the next day you hate it. I can't tell whether I love it or I hate it. I have been living on my own since the day I got my first job, which is eon ago. What I know, it sucks sometimes to heat up your leftover because there's no one home to cook you dinner.
ZA
ZA
Dubious
Things have spun out of proportion since the day I took this new job. On the day I handed my resignation letter, the world seemed so clear and fine, as if I was doing the best thing, ever in my life. The Conglomerate told me to stay, handed me a letter with a figure imprinted that I didn't ever know would exist for someone at my level. I knew it's possible, but I didn't expect it would happen to me. They called, asked to meet, asked me to stay. When I was about to say yes, Aaron came into picture, telling me that if I took the offer by The Conglomerate, then hands down I would be the stupidest person that he ever met. Decisions were wide open. Jared did not say a thing. We just sat in the meeting room, listing out all of the pros and cons, make weightage out of it, scoring and see which one wins and which one loses. When The Conglomerate topped the chart over The Company, I was so sure to stay. Jared again did not say anything except that the decision was in my hand, and he did not have any control over it.
Two weeks later, after an almost endless course of deliberate thinking, quit would be the final decision. The People knew what happened between Liam and I, so I said it's okay that if I stay, he still would be there and he still would my biggest pain in my ass. If Liam was the reason, then the whole world is cordially invited to throw shits and spit. I left because I was so sure that I had made the best decision in the longest time. Like what I said in my farewell note, I will never know until I try.
And after a couple of months on self-assume trial, regrets are budding deep in my heart. The first few weeks were hard. I took it with a grain of salt, convincing self that I was just going through the process of normal homesickness. I used to make huge decisions. But not any more. I used to be wise, but it seems that I use my brain a lot lesser now. I used to have controls over people, but I feel ordinary now.
Things have changed a lot. Away from my comfort. Away from the place that have brought me life and friends and love.
The Conglomerate is wicked. But I just miss it and it's oddities.
ZA
Two weeks later, after an almost endless course of deliberate thinking, quit would be the final decision. The People knew what happened between Liam and I, so I said it's okay that if I stay, he still would be there and he still would my biggest pain in my ass. If Liam was the reason, then the whole world is cordially invited to throw shits and spit. I left because I was so sure that I had made the best decision in the longest time. Like what I said in my farewell note, I will never know until I try.
And after a couple of months on self-assume trial, regrets are budding deep in my heart. The first few weeks were hard. I took it with a grain of salt, convincing self that I was just going through the process of normal homesickness. I used to make huge decisions. But not any more. I used to be wise, but it seems that I use my brain a lot lesser now. I used to have controls over people, but I feel ordinary now.
Things have changed a lot. Away from my comfort. Away from the place that have brought me life and friends and love.
The Conglomerate is wicked. But I just miss it and it's oddities.
ZA
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
I met with the new me, almost a year ago. And it continued until today, the Eid of 2012. I wish you Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. If you happen to be in Terengganu, let me know. I'll play you host.
ZA
That Disgusting Chup Chap Sound
If you really want to date me, start learning to chew your food with your mouth closed.
You just got your precious nine points slashed.
1/10? Try again.
Maybe not.
ZA
You just got your precious nine points slashed.
1/10? Try again.
Maybe not.
ZA
New Chapter
I changed my job a month ago. I moved from the serene Kuantan to the lush green Kertih. The first few days were mere a walk through a series of homesickness - how I miss the night I spent watching the moon at Kuantan Port, or the morning where I took a stroll along Balok beach, or the bustling evening at the Beserah sea produce market, or the weekend when I'd stock up my pantry from the Pasar Tani Mega. It all played in my mind, so silent, without any sound, just images each passing by when mind was unoccupied, or when things got rough and I was out of control. I just missed those so much.
But who am I kidding? Who am I fooling? I don't miss those thing. I miss you, and you and you, and you.
Oh come on. Grow up.
ZA
But who am I kidding? Who am I fooling? I don't miss those thing. I miss you, and you and you, and you.
Oh come on. Grow up.
ZA