Tulips

Aaron is cold, and sweet, and bland, and at times a tad too sour. Like a layer of flavor in a lollipop. Colorful outside, unpredictable inside.

ZA

Somebody That I Used To Know

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Dinner Tonight

When Custard and I were still together, there were nights when I cooked him his favorite dishes because the best thing that I could get from him was his smile gleaming with happiness upon opening up the container that I brought to him.
The one that he loved the most was my homemade beef burger with dollops of dijon mustard, thick cheese and fresh butterhead salad.
I shouldn't have a thought about him, should I?

Good night

ZA

Five Times One

My blog has never been famous. Traffic on average of 4 page views in a day.
But I am absolutely happy with the number that appeared on my dashboard today. There are people out there who helped me made it.

I am celebrating 11111 day today.

Happy 11111 Day everybody!

ZA

Glances

You said to keep on smiling because that made me special.

Thank you

ZA

Just Now

Sad that you have lost your interest in enjoying life. Sad that you are fucked up and you don't realized like a fucked up person. You a fucked up man. Seriously fucked up.

You should've known in the first place.

ZA

Pie

When I reached there, the road was barren - it was so long and deserted, the end of the road was a tiny dot from an infinite perspective. Reality is like a bed of roses - the petals are so red, but there are thorns that will make you crazy. A week ago, I received a notification from Facebook telling me that Custard wanted to befriend me - once again. It took me three days before I hit that Confirm button. Never thought it would be easy, I knew that, but I didn't want to hold grudges in my life. Why should I keep the personal vendetta when there are too much hatreds already in the world? So the old stories flooded back in, like a tsunami of memories, swept through from the ocean floor up to the highest waves. I befriended him for two days before I removed him from my friend's list. One does not befriend her ex, I told myself. But that just another excuse to make myself feel better. I tell that later.

So it was Sunday, the second week of February. Memories are everywhere, from the Club Med to the secluded beach that I reigned territory before. I just had to run away, I just had to forget, I just had to dissolve myself into a relaxing Sunday, the normal Sunday that most normal people do. This place has been my hideout. I jogged here, I slept here, I screamed here, I drew here, I wrote my entry here, I had my lunch here, I once dated Custard here, I once had my happy moment with Liam here. Of any other places that I had been, this is the place where I found my solace.

For once, I got to see how almost clear the sky was, how blue was the ocean, how pretty the clouds in front of the blue canvas, how free the white seagulls were looking for the fish in the open sea, how asymmetrical the rocks that crashed the wave.

For once I got to open my camping chair, sit down, and forget. And for once, after many weeks of struggle, I get to plan what's for lunch tomorrow. I know it won't be Shepherd's Pie.

ZA

Going Stealth

True. You are being constraint in your own thoughts, and you dwell too much on it, and you think you are right all the time. Sad that you have lost a few good moments cherishing what you are doing and what you have done.

ZA