Sunscreen

I gaze to the digital clock on my laptop's screen. It's the freaking last hour of 2009. At least it is the last hour in Malaysia, where in other countries I don't know, have walked pass the gate of 2010 and while the others are still breathing in the cold morning of the last day of the will-be-forgotten 2009.

And resolutions are made, and most of them I believe, are the one you wrote for the past year and the other many past years before 2009. Resolutions are good if achieved. But mere a stupid act if left written on some fancy paper and left thumbtacked on your wall.

I just want to be wise. Being stupid is costly. I am a commoner, where my advices are nothing but words of craps.

So I want you to at least, have a look to these advices. Not from me, but from someone whose mind not flaccid as mine.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you wont, maybe you'll have children, maybe you wont, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you'll never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful who advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Baz Luhrman, Sunscreen

Happy New Year 2010 everyone!

Light, Hold On!

I hope the light from these candles will light up to the new year. Where most people hang to their dreams and resolutions to a brand new life. To erase the shames of not being good enough to bring every single bullet in the 2009 diary to the target. Of letting go the chances, of being not optimistic enough, of falling from the cliff and resisting to climb back.

To light the bleak months and weeks that hindered opportunities to be grabbed. Or hindered the ability to grab the opportunities.

Let us pray that this new year, will shine through the end. The light that will erase away our fears to the gloom and darkness.

ZA


*Picture taken on Xmas evening, by ZA

Xmas Apples and Holiday Onion Springs

Guys, I'm at Bernadette's now, preparing for tonight Xmas party. I hope you will have a wonderful holiday ahead! These apples and onion springs are jingling!

I See Xmas Trees

I see Xmas trees and the road covered in a blanket of thick pure white snow. The shops are on sale, driving soccer mums nuts, kids in silent meditation hoping their last year's unfilled wish, come true this Xmas.

And I am with all these coots, talking about numbers and unjustifiable problems that see no solution.

I am bored.

Happy Xmas my friends and to those out there :)

Pungent Little Blanket

If I had to choose between to forget you or to erase you, I would choose I had never met you.

This is the thought of remembering someone that I tend to forget. It is like the love hate relationship that you develop with your blanket. You hate the smell but yet, you sniff it to lull you to a good night dream.

I wish I could remember the words of Bob Dylan. That phrase... That one simple phrase...

Solemn Repercussion

There was a pair of legs overhung from the old teak wood bed, the hair on them were curly, and black and apart. And he smiled, bright as the morning sun in the early winter. Like frost that encrusted the fallen leaves, glimmered in the most beautiful reflection one longed for the whole torturous year, sweet like the smell of the dew after dawn, dark and misty, yet calming and brought serenity.

He was still dead asleep - eye lids sealed shut, lips with a hint of smile, forehead flat furrow-less - derived from the overwork of hasty sex the night before.

It was...

Clueless. Lost for words. Everything was bland. He couldn't gather himself, so he made a silent movement to the window, so slow not to make any noise.

Let him sleep. He needs his rest. It was rough.

The curtain was the color of blood. More or less. Or maroon. He didn't know. Or he couldn't tell because the room was dim and comfortably warm, and the only light was from the little bulb of the Balinese ornamental lamp he bought at Bangkok last two years, sat sturdy on a small side table just next to the bed.

He got hold to the tip end of the curtain, and contemplating.

Screw you.

The smile was natural, as if he had the best thing in his life. The one worth to wallow in tears should it go away. He walked to the bed, tried to sweep the pain he endured, and bended and kissed him on his stubble cheek and whispered the love words and his tears dropped to his eyes.

He opened up his eyes and he saw him, so close he could feel his breath on his face.

"Oh dear. Why are you crying?"

"I am afraid of losing you"

"I am here, pumpkin. I am not going anywhere"

"I know. But who we are to control our own destiny, we, the imperfect human beings"

"I know that. I am afraid too. But I never afraid of losing you. Because I know that you won't go away. That you'll always here, with me. Here. And that, I assure you, is within our control"

"Promise me you won't go anywhere far any soon"

"I can't"

"Then bring me with you"

"Yes dear, whatever it takes. To be with you"

Happy Xmas To You

Xmas is nearing, and people are flocking every mall to get their hands on the presents and Xmas trees, and plastic snow flakes, and shining balls of many colors. And life has been dull these few weeks, and exciting, and devastating, and wrecked and happy and I hate to have all because it is too much to handle.

Lester Burnham in American Beauty once says,

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

It's an awkward coincident. But it is true. And I hope my someday won't go away that soon. That soon...