Alone

I am here alone tonight, gazing at the lotus afloat in the swamp in the middle of the buildings, and those clouds with droplets of water. How fun a scenery can give you.

I write more tomorrow. I need my rest.

I am sick with social networking websites, blogger.com, my neighbors, my kitchen.

I just need time to think. The serious thinking, the one that makes you decide the ultimate decision.

Maybe soon.

In The Air

You can cry for the whole day, but you can't stand laughing for more than a couple of minutes. Crying and laughing put too much efforts to be done. I need one kind of joke, or sweet talk, that will leave me smiling for a good few hours.

Or for the rest of the day, when the sweet talk comes to mind again.

Love is contagious. And here to make you feel good.

Good Riddance

take this paper and draw me a cute tree on top of a hill. and two stick men, with a basket of apples, and a stack of pancakes beside a jar of honey, and two bottles of milk. if you can't, then draw it in your mind.

ZA

Life of Pi

"....I had a peek at the Jamia Masjid, the Great Mosque, being careful to stay on the outside, of course. Islam had a reputation worse than Christianity's - fewer gods, greater violence, and I had never heard anyone say good things about Muslim schools...."

Yann Martel - Life Of Pi, Chapter 18


Interesting what they're thinking about us. Even written well in a book. That has been sold more than seven million copies. I am going to read this, alongside a cup of hot chocolate.

Later.

p/s: 'Fewer gods' is dead wrong. Fewer suggests plural. Our God is singular. The only one. So get your info right, then write a book.

Doomed

If I were to feel doomed, then hands down, this might be the best day that I have to feel so. Not that I hate changes, but these changes are so abrupt, adapting to a new environment would be something hard to be done. Lest they want to change it back as how it looks like a few months before. Or like yesterday where people share laughter and chasing the same scarce roofed parking spots in front of the admin building. Or maybe when you and I can talk with no barrier that puts the invisible line of a whole new authority.

People talk, and they seem don't fond of the idea. If the one that greatly affects your life (in a good way) gets what he needs to get, then the argument would look like the morning fog, that will go away once hit by the sun. This might be awful, as many would suggest. Seeing future as bleek as evening of thunder clouds, or like the rain of the typical monsoon at the end of the year, where worries washed away by the waves that hit hard the ocean floor.

I have the rules of surviving life as I always stick to my head. Remember to be humble, and don't make fun of people's deficiency. Always, and always be down to earth, remember, once you boast on the greatness of life you lead, some other are having better than yours.

I think I have to keep on surviving. Diminishing the anguish thoughts that I am doomed when I can't see the black hole as yet.

Wait and see.

Thursday Drizzles

The dawn was so chill,
And Gary forgot his bills,
Ellen said she's sad,
And Gary made her glad.

The bottle was empty it lacked of water,
"Where the hell are them?" maybe in the sewer,
He filled it up with a gallon of juice,
But she returned the favor with the look of obtuse.

I need to color my hair, it is all messy,
"No don't! You'll end up being a Weasley"
I am happy, so what's the fuss?
"If you do so, I will lose my lust"

Frogs

I did not realize that I have been talking crap and complaining too much. I think life has been like one of those wheels on my car, dull and used. Isolating self because he doesn't look like the other three, black and full of deep zig zags. Handicapped, and waiting for the perfect time for a replacement.

And it turns out that my life doesn't look like that wheel at all. When you run into potholes, and it ripped apart, useless, a lot more of them are on the rack. Make a choice, pick and pay. One mere transaction, and everything is back to normal. I heard once, that life can be traded with something else. It baffles me somehow. I don't have a second life to be the part to spare.

And the life inside this four wall cubicle room - with a white towel hang loose on a hangar, and a yellow christmas-tree-shape car freshener that smells like so much like vanilla hang free at the socket on the wall, and these pillows, a green oversize mug with the perfectly balanced milk-tea iced tea and a japanese table, and a stack of storage boxes - is nothing but a treat of pure serenity.

The constant shuffling of Thom Yorke - Thom Yorke - Thom Yorke is like the spacer that fills the gap of being lonely. On the loop in my car, in my room, in my long-gone iPod.

I drove my car just now, along the beach. The windows were all rolled down. I stopped the Thom Yorke from wailing and the song on the radio was one of those hits from Jackson 5. The sky was dark but glimmered with the stars, one different view from the constant downpour for the past weeks. It was pretty but I dreamed the stars were more on the sky like when I was kid, when I sat alone on my veranda, gazing endlessly to the black canvas of the night.

It was soothing. I mean the night when I was the kid. But tonight, it was soothing too. It was like the repetition of the same occasion, but the differences were 1) I am all grown up 2) I was in the car not veranda.

I think I should take a time off and drive along the coast of Terengganu.

Like I did a few years ago.

It was great.

And I think, this time it will be much better if I ask Kings Of Leons to jump onto my bandwagon too.

It must be great. Yeah.

Vendetta

I saw him. And I need a line of rebuttal. He did not break me. He was him. So did I. We were meant to be the way we designed to be.

If this what I am getting for loving you, then I wish you will have yours too.

Served cold.

Headache

When I stress out, I eat strawberry ice cream. And I lay down on my huge stripy, orange-y pillow, I stare on my curtain, observe the movement it makes from the wind that blows from my little fan.

And I will just lie flat. Thoughtless. Dreamless. Eyes wide open. Wishing that everything will be in place when I wake up. Hoping that everything is a thought derived from a scared piece of mind.

And I just perceive the sound as it is. Not trying to block any. I don't have the reason for doing so, I just do.

I just think, I have it all handled well.

I think. Well...

I Really Really Think I Need To Give Mr. Pavroski A Cameo, No?

You and I

Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
Let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
Making everybody look like ants
from way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I


Ingrid Michaelson, You and I
Be OK