.

The sun is glaring through the window Ed had saved whenever he wants to see the turbulent and spinning air from the comfort of his room. The bed all messed up with an evidence of a very hasty commotion - the night when he contemplated whether it was a right decision to let that thing happened or was it something he had longed to have - just to fill the empty space of his own undeniable lust. He couldn't figure it out. When he slips his torso down to the floor, he sees no one in the room like the day he saw it before, everything changes and he thinks that this would be unnecessary for everyone to let him down again after what he had gone through for the last couple of weeks where everything shambled and mournful.

This ‘magical physical interlocking exercise’ he couldn’t recall whether it is something mutual or improvising the lamented life he possessed or was it happened because he has been stopping himself all these years with this indulgence he couldn’t endure.

He thinks he fall in love with him. He stops. He rethinks. He bawls.

He doesn’t.

He pissed off. He would’ve reminded himself that this would be happened.

Somehow when he thinks about this, he sees a circle of hope, rounded and flawless, the way he wants it so badly. But as round as it can be, it is just a circle of hope. Doesn’t bring any significant reason and meaning why it supposed to be there, giving him something that might not happen, some false expectations and some immature hide-and-seek games.

He thinks and he yawns. This problem is so punching his back he couldn’t breathe somehow.

But whatever it is, he doesn’t care because he knows that his life is not being destined to be with a man. He is a lad that supposed to be married to a lass.

.
.
.

.

.

Even he knows that he’ll end up suffering for the rest of his life.

Comments

ytxis said…
I can comprehend bi-sexuality in women or even lesbianism but i never look at Brad Pitt and feel or even think that "hey!this guy is cute".
Zubaidah Arshad said…
I couldn't comprehend either. It is just my attempt to try something new over here. For my a homosexual scene (a guy loves a guy/ a woman loves a woman)is just the same like a guy loves a woman and vice versa. The only thing that differentiates those homosexuality and normal relationship (in term of sentence construction in an entry) is just 'he-she' and 'he-he'.

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