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24.3.14

Meanwhile..

"You are sexy"
"Thank you", I giggle.

He plays with my hair.

"I love you"
"I love you too" he giggles.

ZA

22.3.14

Solace

Do you guys remember that I always tell you that I need to find my hideout to define myself.

I found one today. I couldn't be happier. My little escape. My little hideout. My solace.

ZA

13.3.14

Collide

Collide. I miss you. You are always on my mind. Good night.

9.3.14

Pray for MH370

There's a familiar name on the passenger manifest. We never ran into each other, but we crossed our paths through someone.

Whatever it is, I hope everything will be fine with flight MH370. Even there's the slimmest hope, it is still a piece of hope.

ZA

1.3.14

Bow Down

I am at the Holy Mosque in Makkah right now, lying on my bed waiting for the car to fetch me up to Jeddah airport. As I was browsing my Facebook timeline, Tony posted a picture of a very familiar face, looking so gleamingly happy in his traditional Malay costume, beside a girl that I didn't know (who looked equally happy).

Custard is getting married today. No invitation. Nothing.

Do I feel sad? No.
Do I feel mad? No.
Do I feel helpless? No.

Perhaps it is the best time for him to end his single, alone, maniac life. He should've told her what happened. But perhaps not.

Congratulations. This world needs a little love.

27.2.14

Describe Your Situation, Now.

Pretty fucked up.

ZA

When It's Over

There are people who can walk away from you. Let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over.

TD Jakes

23.2.14

Little Conversation

I got jealous seeing you talking on the phone with someone that I didn't know. I didn't get jealous because you were talking on the phone – I got jealous because you were talking in a voice so low, with pervert-y smile all plastered on your face, your torso slouched on your chair. I hate it when I went into your cubicle, then you stopped talking, and asked me what I wanted, but the phone was still glued to your ear.

I was so pissed off that you told me you liked me, and yet you didn't do anything to prove anything that you said. I felt like banging my head on the mirrors in the washroom, just to wipe away my embarrassment, for having a tiny bit of jealousy for someone who didn't love me back.

I was so close to tell to the whole world that you asked me out for a fun ride in Bahrain, when your fun ride was merely a term of friends hanging out together. I got lucky that I didn't get invested too much in you, that when I did, I afraid couldn't find the way out.

I am thankful to you. At least the air gets a little pleasant, and the pretty wild flowers are still there to keep my heart warm.

ZA

12.2.14

Void

The leaves were golden, bathed by the evening sun. Everybody left. Except me. The office was empty. Like my mind. An empty office gave me space to breath and an empty mind gave me peace.

ZA

9.2.14

North East

"You can't run away from him"
"From who?"
"Liam"
"What on earth?"
"He's coming here. Working with the same company as yours"
"Why the need to tell me this?"
"It's just that both of you are meant to be together, even when you decided to flee away. Away from him"
"Have you heard of coincidence?"
"This is not a coincidence. This is one end of your fate, meets up another. You and him will complete a circle. You and him look like are meant to be together"
"Come on. He just got himself a baby"
"So?"
"So he can fuck off and don't bother me anymore"
"Tell that to yourself. Tell that to your heart"

Life has a way to reconcile with our past memories. And this apparently, with my pain.

ZA