First and Last

Sometimes love does not need to be expressed by words. I Love You, I Need You, I Am Falling For You, are all phrases that are so cliche, it loses its values.
Love is a mutual feeling. When two people love each other, their actions speak louder than any verbal I Love You you've possibly ever heard.
Love is about pretending not to love, but loving is all what we do.

Zubaidah Arshad Krakow, Poland 1st March 2018
"Do you run?"
"Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money"

Artificial Hope

That warm Saturday morning when I saw you being basked by the mid summer sun ray — you were barefooted, in your wide neck tank top and a floral board short, your hair was golden, glistened by the unforgiving bright sunlight — I knew that my artificial dream had almost came true.

Except that you never knew who I was, you never knew that I was seeing my dream materialized like riding on a ferris wheel — circling the horizon, up and down, the feel of being on top of the world, the soft silky gush of breeze that touched your face  — gazing from afar.

You wouldn’t know. Because I didn't have balls to tell you that I wanted you. Not that I had balls in the first place (literally!), but if I did, I would. Because my jaw locked up like a constantly-smiling clown at a cheap fun fair.

And now you’re gone.
With that girl.
Who stole my dream.
On the mid summer morning.

"I Miss You"
Zubaidah Arshad
25 July 2017
1225 hrs
United Arab Emirates

Apartment 11B

This picture was taken on the top of the hill at Old Town Ibiza. The day was beautiful and sunny. The people too. Can’t say that I miss a place so much like I miss Ibiza.

Those Little Words

My 3 journals. Journals are not judgmental. They just keep quiet when you poor your thoughts to them. They don't make you look stupid when you tell them your feelings. They don't shrug off when you tell them your problems.

They just there. Silent and your words stare back at your face.

Journals keep me sane. These journals are my solace.

Debt-dy Issues

"He's so funny. He's like my dream boy"
"Jokes won't make your stomach full. Funny won't shelter you from rain and sun"
"Are you this serious all the time?"
"Yes and no. Yes because you've got issues. No because I ain't you"
"I think you got to check your panties, because your pussy is on fire. Hahaha"
"Why do you think it's funny? Your lame bone is on point there"
"You're boring"
"Yeah. Go get your dream boy"
"OK OK OK. I'll give you back your money tomorrow"

Zubaidah Arshad
25th March 2017
Juffair, Kingdom of Bahrain

Klara Södra kyrkogata

After so many years, I am back in Stockholm. While walking down the alley, I couldn't help to recall the conversation we had a night before.

I thought finally, we had something in common. But I also forget that you can't be forgiving of me all the time.

We just need to get past through the period where things we should've said are kept unsaid, because to be honest, and to be fair, we both know the fact that I always make things worse, and you always pull yourself back. For once, a resistance from you would be good.

And as always, you play the good guy role once again, making me looks like an ungrateful 40-ish spinster who does not know how to say Thank You once in a while.

So this alley, and the leafless trees along the road, just an addition to the bland images of yours. For once I wished you were here, but the fact that you're actually not here, sends a chill relief down my spine.

I miss you Aboody. I really do.

Stockholm, Sweden