Free counter and web stats Zubaidah Arshad: That Man

18.2.17

That Man


"Don't push it"
"It is not enough"
"What more there is?"
"He said he couldn't be my boyfriend"
"Hey woman. Boyfriend is only a term. He acts like one, technically he's your boyfriend"
"I need to be labeled. Like 'ZA, the girlfriend of Aboody'. It feels nice to let the whole world know that you are belong to someone. It feels good that once in a while, you're not barking at the wrong tree. It makes you feel that you are wanted"
"Just don't push it, please. Aboody by far is the best guy you ever have in your life. I never heard Liam, Custard, Shay or any other fuckers that you dated before willing to go to your home, bought a shitload of light bulbs, because you're too blond to replace one. I never heard these guys came to your house, bringing over toilet seat because you were stupid enough not to buy one for your own loo.

"He's married. He has a daughter. What he is giving you right now is more than you could ask for. You cannot demand something that even not your own. You cannot wish for something that won't happen. If he loves you albeit secretly or openly, for me, that is more than the world that you could wish for.

"I am really happy when you found him you know. For once, you were yourself again. You start to laugh again, your face lit up like a moon, your smile is genuine. I haven't seen you like this for quite some time. Expectation that you have in your brain right now needs to be lowered down. He loves you, you know that. He won't say that to you. But he loves you. Who the fuck on earth doesn't have a feeling to someone, but at the same time spending hours lying down together under a blanket, watching that foolish La La Land?

"Take a good care of him. I want you to be happy. I want you to be yourself again"
"I know. But the problem is, love is like ice cream. It won't make you full, but it makes you crave for more. His affection towards me perhaps the sweetest thing I ever tasted in my life. His smile brightens up my day. When I feel a little under the weather, I dig back his stupid jokes at the back of my head, and how old the jokes are, I still laugh at it. I feel good around him. He is my dream boy. I know that he's someone's husband, I know that he's a father to a beautiful child, but I can't help to wish that I want him all for myself"
"You can't. And you won't. If you love him, you won't do it"
"What's with me that I always fall for someone's husband all over again? Why can't I get someone that don't belong to anyone? Why don't I meet him earlier?"
"Because if you met him earlier, he might not be the one that you see right now. He could be someone else"
"Maybe"

"Love him. Love all you want. But that's all about it.  Appreciate this moment. For one second, be grateful that he's there for you"
"I am afraid he will change. He promised he won't. But who knows?"
"He won't. I know"
"I know"
"Be strong"
"Can I cry?"
"Yes"
"Thanks"
"Stupid woman"

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