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25.1.12

An Ex

It all turned mundane since the day he came back from Hungary. It wasn't quite the same. I didn't attend to his requests, I didn't go to his table for nothing, I answered his questions with hums, it spun like in a spiral of time. Of when you know things wouldn't get better anymore, and you wanted to end this up because you have wakened up from your day dream that this was all wrong, and all you ever wished that this never happened.

To whom should you place your blame when all those sweet time are now nothing but a stretch of awkward silence and stale conversations? I caught his glimpse once in a while, but that's all, nothing major. Surprisingly after two months, things are getting better between us. No feelings involved, and we don't go jog out together anymore. There's a lot of sayings that you couldn't befriend your ex, well, it is true. And I am stand by it. Why should go befriend someone that used to make you feel special? Certainly there will be a lot of unresolved things, something that you have been holding on for quite a long time and you couldn't find a right moment to tell all of that because all this while you have been dodging and ducking under the table not wanting to bring up the old memories back?

People around me realized that, that there is no more nudging, poking, stupid jokes, banters that he used to throw at me. Stupid me if I don't realize that, but I am happy he is acting that way because I believe that is the way it supposed to be.

I was wrong in the first place, and he has been wrong all this while. It is true that our eyes are being blinded when we are in love, the sights were blocked by the confetti of stupid emotional feelings, our senses were grayed by the temporary happiness it gave. When it was over, I had a good look at him, and then I saw what I didn't see when I was so affectionate by his artificial love. Well, let's that buried with all the times that have been wasted spent on him.

Now we are moving, and we are colleagues. We work together, as if nothing ever happened between us. We couldn't tell lies that it happened. But at least we tried.

And the strive is showing some results. I don't know if I should feel happy.


ZA 

2 comments:

az said...

I am happy for you.

little ain said...

i'm sooo happy for you.

move on, that's what you should do
:)