Next Tuesday

His Captiva, X7 and Land Cruiser were nicely parked in his porch. The grill was neatly locked, and the sliding door was closed shut. The house as if being left to be looked for to a neighbor because the owner was left for a long vacation somewhere in Nepal.

But that was not the case. He got home on Friday from Hungary and he has been locked up inside the house with Sarrah for the past two days, trying to make up the celibacy period they had to endure for the one week. The meeting that was scheduled for two long weeks had been shortened to one, so I guess there was not too much 'misses' to reconcile.

Since the day I sent him that email, I was more than reluctant to repeat the utter stupidity all over again. I have to admit that there was not a hint of feeling of longing to be with him, to look him at his face, trying to search for the sincerity that he actually loved me. That time has flown away. I could not take any risk anymore, so I left my feeling inside an unknown territory somewhere in my heart.

He'll get to work on Tuesday. I can't say that I am excited. In fact, I really wished that he got stranded in Hungary and got detained and never able to get back here in Malaysia.

I really don't want to see his face again. When I thought at first that I could not endure the weeks without him, I was dead wrong. In fact I was happy. In fact it was the happiest 6 days of my life.

Liam, you told me you want to quit. And I told you not to. But I regret that. You can quit. I won't hold your back. I won't tell you that you are needed here anymore. You are not needed.

Not even a second.



Anonymous said…
It makes no sense to be second in someone's life, when you know you're good enough to be first in someone else's. Know your worth....
Anonymous said…
sorry, this comment was meant for the previous entry. my bad.

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