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9.11.11

The Crazy Pills

Being sick and emotionally depressed teaches me one good thing — no one is going to care you on the rainy days. You are always on your own. So these realities check has shaken my view on the comfort zone. The comfort zone of being surrounded by distant good friends. The thought that you will have their supports when you need them the most, because personally I don't go drown my mom and my dad with my troubles because why should I when I can go tell friends that had swore they would be my lifeline when I am in distress?

Yeah, so you and I both clearly know the fact that those can be said on an idle Tuesday evening just like that. I can say that, you can say that as well, but the truth is I committed to what has been said, but you dodge them like you never heard of it.

I am not crazy, it just the sleeping pills soothed my night. You never know how bad my nightmares are, you never know that I am struggling every night just to get a decent sleep, you never know how do I wake up in the middle of my sleep and can't be able to resume it back. You never know. You won't know. Because you have distant yourself when I told you that I was on sleeping pills, that the doc prescribed me with meds to keep me sane during the days that I had too much to endure and it led me astray.

Funny when I called you and told you about that, you ditched the call and told me you have something else to do.

Funny when I sent you messages through Facebook, and I didn't get any reply thereafter.

Funny when you told me that I am your best friend but you never acted like one.

For all the reasons that perhaps you have in your bags, I am giving you the benefit of the doubts. Well, I love all my friends, but after what had happened, I imagined the circle won't be the same again.

And for that, I thank you Zaleha for being such indeed a best friend for me. You will always be. I truly appreciate that. Thank you for not ditching me because of those arid pills. You understood, and I need someone who understands.

And you too Nina. Thanks a lot. I really mean it.

After all these episodes, now I get to see the true you. Thanks for the revelation. It is truly refreshing.

Thanks for being my best friends. You guys had been great. Well, someone got to budge.


ZA

3 comments:

Sir Pök Déng said...

You should be thankful to yourself because you have the prescription. I took Anti-Histamine two years ago. Yeah, to get decent sleep.

Zubaidah Arshad said...

What makes you think that taking sleeping pills is somehow enjoyable?

Sir Pök Déng said...

Haidonow, miss. Perhaps, it helps us get decent sleep. Wow what a stupid reason. Truth is, I was really in need of sleeping pills but I did not not know how to get them, EASILY; like beli ubat batuk from pharmacy. I was so malas to see a doctor so that I can have the prescription. So I took ubat batuk Bena Expectorant Anti Histamine instead.

I know what it felt being insomniac. I didn't have decent sleep for months. When you close your eyes, you are forced to think more than when you're not sleeping.