Somewhere at Teluk Kalong, Kemaman

"Lies hurt. You know that, don't you?"

"I know. But I chose to lie to you. Because I couldn't keep on humming sweet words to make you feel that you are the most important person in my life. Because sincerely, you are not. You never will"

"What has happened to the promises that you have made. To me, to our past memories, to the box we buried underneath the tree over that hill? What has happened to your oath to be loyal, to be the one who would push my back when I lost my strength to move?"

"You better find a new one. This has taken too much on me. This has made me a different person. When I met you five years ago, I believe that you knew me as a different person. I notice that, because you will notice the changes that are happening inside you. I try to distant myself, I try to put some gap between us, I want you to breathe, and I need some air to breathe. It is harder than you thought but believe me I think this is the best decision that I have ever made in my entire adult life."

"Seriously you are mad. I don't know who the fuck that has ruined your brain. I used to know someone that was crazy over my headache. I used to know you who were restless when I didn't pick up your call. And now, you have changed in a split second. What the hell is that? You tell me. What the hell is that?"

"I can't tell you. Because this is me talking. I have been hiding the true me just to make you feel happy. And God knows how do I suffer when I have to deal with your stupid tantrums, when you were going loony when you knew that I went out with a friend of mine. Oh come on honey, I have given you too much. And I still can't get over when I remember the moment you intruded my precious privacy. This shouldn't be the way we should live honey. I guarantee you that you have my respect for your privacy, and please I expect the same thing in return"

"Am I too much a person to handle?"

"Five years ago, you were this sweet midgety petite person. With huge heart. But over time, you changed. You turned to someone that's beyond comprehension. I wish you were the guy that stole my heart like it used to be. The one who was so nice, so true in being yourself. I want you your old self back"

"I don't really know how am I going to be a better person for you. I have been trying my best, giving my best shot to satisfy your needs, to be there when you need me the most, now you tell me that I am no one, that I am not going to be any special to you, that I am just another passerby in your life?"

"I have explained enough. It is up to you to try or not to try understand"

"You're cruel"

"I have to. For the benefit of both of us"

"Fuck you"


az said…
There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept; things we don't want to know, but have to learn, and people we can't live without, but have to let go.

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