Aporia

Imagine going back home from a long tiring day, just to be greeted by an empty sofa, paintings of the cats and the deads on the wall, dimmed chandelier hung on the ceiling, vases filled with multiple colors of drying flowers, huge windows with rattan blind rattling on the window's frame occasionally when being hit by the wind from the full speed fan above.

That's all.

There is an enormous space, but filled with emptiness. The only scent is from the lavender aromatherapy candle, and from the thin smell of the take-home Chinese food. The senses are longing for something. The sight and sound filled by flickers and the scream from the TV and the only living thing in the house, is the wife, legs stretch on the sofa, getting so deep in drama, she's almost inanimate.

All of a sudden, I hear a lot about couples who are trying to conceive a baby. Like this morning when I heard over Prem and Nadia on the radio, there was a couple in China who hold PhD and been trying for a baby for almost three years, but to no avail. They went to see a doctor and was shocked to find out that the couple thought they could get a baby by sleeping side by side. I know Liam is not that stupid, I know Liam's knowledge on reproductive system is far more advanced and they have been trying for quite some time now.

There were times when Nina and I cheekily teased him over Sarrah's slothfulness of not being able to cook him dinner, or when Sarrah tried to cook and Liam brought it to the office and he couldn't finish it off because perhaps it was so suck, it makes me wonder of a lot of things. When I drove home, I wonder what was she doing at home. Facebooking with friends? Reading books? Because all I know is that Liam is spending his time outside, going out with friends for futsal, badminton and sometimes go for a jog with me.

What is there to cherish in a home where the scream and the pungent smell of baby's piss is ripped away from a family? What holds them together?

I can't tell. Because right now, I think what fills him in is the fact that we are actually together, in silent.

ZA

Comments

little ain said…
they'll be okay.

lets pray for them both :)
18:02
az said…
agree with little ain. pray for them. with all your heart.
12:25
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