Free counter and web stats Zubaidah Arshad: I Know Everything Would Be Alright

20.5.11

I Know Everything Would Be Alright

"I have recovered"

Nina said nonchalantly this afternoon when we had a coffee break in the pantry. Nina had recovered, that is what she claimed. I don't believe her most of the times when she said she had dumped him somewhere out of her box of memory. The remnants hurt. Jared has left nothing anymore for her to treasure. When Jared walked in into the meeting room for a mini discussion with dear colleagues, Nina was standing with me. At the pantry. I can tell when people are tailing someone, the eyes show. Nina exactly did that. Tailing Jared with her eyes, hoping for something ridiculous to resurface.

She has been hoping that Jared would forget, and make everything like it used to be. Way before they ventured into this useless emotion. She doesn't know what he thinks. Perhaps he harbors quandaries to the course of this forbidden mutual affection. Jared was right when he decided that he would forgo being in the infidelity, and Nina was never wrong to not further go down the betrayal alley.

But couldn't Jared just play pretend that nothing was actually happened between him and Nina? I truly understand the emotional torture that she's going through right now. All she ever asked that he treats her just like he treats anybody else. She couldn't tell lie. She is still hoping for something but she hides it underneath her smile. When they passed shoulder to shoulder, Nina was trying hard to reconcile by passing him a friendly gesture - as a colleague - but what she got in return was an annoyed look from Jared.

"I had let go everything. Let bygone be bygone. I understand that he has Ashley at home, and so do I. I have my own Zachary, and of course my kids. But why can't he just be my friend? Be my colleague? At least please be professional. I don't need that obtuse look every time he passes by me. I am deeply hurt and insulted"

She tried to smile. Tried to remain her composure. This is the woman that listens to my crappy Liam and Sarrah thing, so I should be the one who will listen to his Jared crappy thing.

"You read my blog right? I wrote there somewhere, the only way to get out, is to forget. Case in point, Custard and I. I don't talk to him anymore, nor look at him. We do work together, so I couldn't avoid him. But he has been giving thousands of fuckeries for the past months, why should I reconcile? So do you. If he can do what he is doing right now, so do you. You don't have to be angelic all the times. Why on earth you have to be angelic when you are being kicked on your head, every single day? Pretending to be angelic doesn't save you from your emotional wreck. Come on Nina. Wake up. You have such a loving husband at home. You were the one who told me that you can't find anybody else that is as good as him. He is beyond fantastic. So stick with him. Dump all these cry shits and the efforts to resurrect what you have gone through with Jared.

Remember Nina, the last thing you want to do, is to hurt Zachary"

She gasped for air. Looking around, to hide her face. Her eyes started to water.

"I love my husband. He is the best. I love the kids. They are the best thing that happened in my life. Jared might make me happy for a while, but I know, that was so artificial and I was a fool. He was a fool. Zachary and my kids are where my loves at. I love my husband"

"Great. Chant the mantra when Jared does shit all over again to you"

"I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband"

And Liam passed by, shot a quick glance to me, and smiled.

No comments: