I did not realize that I have been talking crap and complaining too much. I think life has been like one of those wheels on my car, dull and used. Isolating self because he doesn't look like the other three, black and full of deep zig zags. Handicapped, and waiting for the perfect time for a replacement.

And it turns out that my life doesn't look like that wheel at all. When you run into potholes, and it ripped apart, useless, a lot more of them are on the rack. Make a choice, pick and pay. One mere transaction, and everything is back to normal. I heard once, that life can be traded with something else. It baffles me somehow. I don't have a second life to be the part to spare.

And the life inside this four wall cubicle room - with a white towel hang loose on a hangar, and a yellow christmas-tree-shape car freshener that smells like so much like vanilla hang free at the socket on the wall, and these pillows, a green oversize mug with the perfectly balanced milk-tea iced tea and a japanese table, and a stack of storage boxes - is nothing but a treat of pure serenity.

The constant shuffling of Thom Yorke - Thom Yorke - Thom Yorke is like the spacer that fills the gap of being lonely. On the loop in my car, in my room, in my long-gone iPod.

I drove my car just now, along the beach. The windows were all rolled down. I stopped the Thom Yorke from wailing and the song on the radio was one of those hits from Jackson 5. The sky was dark but glimmered with the stars, one different view from the constant downpour for the past weeks. It was pretty but I dreamed the stars were more on the sky like when I was kid, when I sat alone on my veranda, gazing endlessly to the black canvas of the night.

It was soothing. I mean the night when I was the kid. But tonight, it was soothing too. It was like the repetition of the same occasion, but the differences were 1) I am all grown up 2) I was in the car not veranda.

I think I should take a time off and drive along the coast of Terengganu.

Like I did a few years ago.

It was great.

And I think, this time it will be much better if I ask Kings Of Leons to jump onto my bandwagon too.

It must be great. Yeah.


phoeniznix said…
that sounds something like i would do myself. bliss!
ZubaidahArshad said…
yerp absolutely! have fun moving to england!

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