Free counter and web stats Zubaidah Arshad: Happy Xmas To You

8.12.09

Happy Xmas To You

Xmas is nearing, and people are flocking every mall to get their hands on the presents and Xmas trees, and plastic snow flakes, and shining balls of many colors. And life has been dull these few weeks, and exciting, and devastating, and wrecked and happy and I hate to have all because it is too much to handle.

Lester Burnham in American Beauty once says,

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

It's an awkward coincident. But it is true. And I hope my someday won't go away that soon. That soon...

2 comments:

pakmat said...

..but I am already at that someday..seeing my whole life in flashbacks..like the light of a faulty bulb..and I have been in front of that ocean..feeling how near it is..the end of my time..

ZubaidahArshad said...

pakmat, why must you sadden me in this manner. for we all flawed human beings, we never know when the end of our time will greet us, and when that someday comes and gives us the chance to bid our last goodbye, then we will know. we will just know.

pakmat, you're young and lively. chase more girls if you have to :)