An Open Letter To H

Dear H,

I came back to my abode this evening at 8 and straight away tossing up my keys and drove to this little Thai restaurant or could I call it Kelantanese restaurant because the guy who took my order talked incomprehensible dialect which later I found out it was a Kelantanese dialect because his dialect was so different from what I’ve heard from my other Kelantanese colleagues I had at work or when I was in boarding school and maybe it was incomprehensible because he was actually a Thai(landish?) at all.

While I was waiting for my Tom Yam to be served, I gazed up to the sky and I saw stars of varying intensity mapped onto the black night canvas were so persistent, I could see a star, shining brightly and she was the one who stood out among others and I thought a soothing Jim Brickman’s song would be nice to complement the absolutely amazing moonless night but all I heard was a shriek from the TV with a man and a woman mumbling over the death of the beauty Mongolian Altantuya whose body was blown into pieces and sometimes the shriek dimmed for a few seconds when trucks with annoying sound passed over on the street beside the restaurant.

All of a sudden, I came to think of you. Gazing at the star, the way it shone was so irritating, it did bring back the memory and the remembrance of things past that happened between us. For sure I didn’t want to think more about you, any deeper. No. I wouldn’t. But shit happened and when it happened the least I would like to do was to recall the reminiscence we had together and the least thing I would like to have was the first thing that came to mind. Because I was so miserable and pathetic, I did recall the memories back. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t that melodrama. It yucked in many ways, you did know how wretched a woman cried for a little man as though I have nothing to cry for but you.

And then I came back home, watched National Geographic about this Korean Air flight that crashed in Guam, then Supernatural whose the big brother was so hot I came to think of having his lil brother instead, then more NatGeo which the title was “The Vanishing Tattoo” or something like that and then I lied flat on my comforter did nothing but stared at the ceiling watching the comforting creamy white paint. I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I did text you which it sounded something similar like this


“I had my hair cut today. So much similar like yours when you decided that you needed a new brandishing hair style. A bit boyish but I like it. And I do hope you like it too but I don’t think so because you haven’t replied to any of my SMSs or even return any of my calls, so I guess you must not like me anymore, do you?”


I wait and wait up until now where there is still no sign that you’ll reply me. I presume the 1 cent charge for the SMS is too pricey for you eh? I think I lost you.

Goodbye H. Whatever your reason is, I still kiss you on my laptop screen every single day.

Comments

*sigh*
i had the same thing for the last couple of nites...
but we gotta what we gotta do...

i feel u zue..
ytxis said…
Its about time u change the wallpaper. Dont worry i'll send u my pic

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