Free counter and web stats Zubaidah Arshad: Jolt

1.7.07

Jolt

I need a jolt. A big one. The one that’ll leave you shocked for the rest of your day. Like having a pinch from your mom at the bottom of your belly when you were five because you did an art on the wall, leaving the white coated bricks with stains that couldn’t be removed. It was so painful. Throbbing. Like a sonar. And it was lasted for more than an hour, and you thought of paying revenge but you couldn’t because you were too small and eventually you lied down on your bed, head down, breathing through the voids of your mattress, hoping that your mom will come back to you and said “I’m so sorry I got angry” but it didn’t happen because your life wasn’t that perfect.

It was perforated at some points. And I wished mine wasn’t perforated. I liked it perfect.

Because when mine was perfect, I don’t need a jolt right now to wake me up from my flight of the imagination. Maybe this fantasy I made by my own self isn’t a fantasy at all. Maybe it is just the reincarnation of a night mare that has been haunting me all this while. It is just me who being ignorant, didn’t realize that this is actually the occasion I’ve been fleeing. Maybe.

I hear the singing of a bird. Far away but still can be heard. Except there isn’t any bird at all. The setting would be perfect if there is a bird chirping. I wish. On a tree at the back of my lawn. And I am on my butt underneath, reading Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth as I am having quite little time these days for a book. 58 pages in a month? I need to take a leave. A week maybe. Just to read all those novels I bought. But will those birds poo on me?

Crap.

I should resort for an ice-cream perhaps. That’ll of course alleviate a little amount of weight in my head. Some say that eating and licking ice-cream is a warning that you are in a massive strike of depression. Is it?

I suppose I am going mad. Or insane. Or kooky. Or mentally unstable. Whichever applicable. I need a rest and rent a DVD. A Beautiful Mind maybe? I heard it was all about a guy going insane. Or should it be avoided?

I’ll sleep instead.

.

.

.

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Maybe later, I need a rush of an ice-cream right now. Vanilla ice-cream coated with thick crispy choc layer.

Then, I’ll go sleep. Or read a book. Or watch a DVD.




I am absolutely insane, now.

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