Little Less Worries

So he did leave me. There was no good I spent my whole days thinking over to win his confidence back again, like salvaging an old book, the page were blackened and ashed, and yet a few words remained, telling story which was incomplete and left us bewildered what was the whole book was all about. A couple of years worth of sweet and jolly, 24 months stuffed with contentment and relieving therapy, 96 weeks with little less worries, 730 days agony free and an hour of harsh words and calamity.

Sometime when I sit alone under the huge shadowy tree in front of the lake I used to fish together with him on a late Sunday evening, the memories rush onto my head, unstoppable and keeps on projecting like a set of monochromatic images playing over a designated sequence and on a time line, perfectly follows the chronology. It is like counting from 1 to 10. Not from 10 to 1 where there is always 11 to start with. Those reminiscences from my grey matter are nothing much helpful in surviving my days hereafter.

Albeit no one confessed, either me or him, neither of us entrapped in this entangling web of uncertainties. It is a game of hide-and-seek. You hide, I find you, you caught, I hide myself.

No matter how hard we try to run away, this feeling of guilty will keep on entailing us to a certain point when you'll find you are running out of breath, pulling by and inhale, running again, slowing by and inhale, running again, halting by and inhale. We try to step again but to no avail because we've been running too much, we didn't realize that we tire ourselves up, leaving every single thing behind. And it needs a whole lot more effort to gain everybody's confidence back again because when we are too involved in someone, we tend to forget that we have somebody else to care for.

A lot of them.

Comments

suzequatro said…
therefore, i shan't get myself too involved with anyone. it's easier like that. do you agree?
Zubaidah Arshad said…
In some points, yes I am agree with you. Getting too involved in someone wrecks your life. Getting minimally involved left you living in your own world. It is the matter of how to control your life. That matters the most

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